


4 GR4ND 4DV3NTUR3

by echinoderms, rieduentant



Series: HSO 2012 Team Sollux♥Terezi [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Earth, F/M, Gambling, Homestuck Shipping Olympics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2012-07-22
Packaged: 2017-11-10 11:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/465696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echinoderms/pseuds/echinoderms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rieduentant/pseuds/rieduentant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you wonder if the knife-sharp laugh and ensuing mockery she's always ready to dole out after you try to fix your shitty tin can sink are the true trappings of genus: ship, species: matesprit. Maybe behind all those weird origami angles of her skull there's a hate for you as black as the irradiated sludge the morning lounge workers serve under the guise of 'coffee,’ but even still, you have a nauseating feeling that no matter what you call your relationship, you'd follow her anywhere. This, unfortunately, includes a red-eye flight to the capital of hell:</p><p>Reno, Nevada.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 GR4ND 4DV3NTUR3

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the first round of the Homestuck Shipping Olympics! The story was a collaboration between rieduentant, tumblr user clemfoote, and myself; the illustrations were done by me as well.
> 
> ADDITIONAL WARNINGS: emetophobia warning

SOLLUX 1 H4V3 H4D 1T!  
TH1S 1S TH3 F1N4L STR4W  
4ND 1TS NOT THOS3 T4STY H1L4R1OUS M1CK3Y MOUS3 B3NDY ON3S  
1T 1S 4 BL4ND YUCKY C4F3T3R14 STR4W 4ND 1T 1S TH3 L4ST ON3 W3 H4V3!!!  
wow okay thii2 better be an emergency.  
2ome of u2 don't have the horriible burden of diickiing around iin theiir hou2e all day and botheriing theiir long 2ufferiing mate2priit2 wiith overblown metaphor2.  
2ome of u2, ii don't know, work?  
>:O  
DO3S MY L3G4L WORK M34N NOTH1NG TO YOU?  
2niiffiing the butt2 of the hiigher up2 and fliirtiing wiith the pro2ecutor ii2 hardly 2omethiing ii'd call legal.  
2o whiile you choke your2elf on compliimentary miint2 and mou2e-2haped bathroom 2oap2 iin whatever obnxiiou2ly colored hotel room they plop your happy a22 down iin, ii'll be here wiith the poor lowly 2ap2 iin the offiice.  
fiixiing 2pace mountaiin. agaiin.  
becau2e they broke iit. agaiin.  
BL44444R TH1S 1S 3X4CTLY WH4T W3 N33D TO T4LK 4BOUT!  
YOUR MOOD H4S B33N R3PR3H3NS1BLY 1N3D1BL3 R3C3NTLY  
YOU CURDL3 3V3RY ROOM YOU CR4WL 1NTO, MR B4N4N4 SLUG!  
WH3R3 1S TH3 ROM4NC3? TH3 L4T3 N1GHT FL4RP1NG S3SS1ONS?  
there are no 'late niight flarpiing 2e22iion2' becau2e ii wa2 promii2ed iid never have two do that agaiin!  
D1D YOU G3T TH4T ST4T3M3NT L3G4L1Z3D 1N WR1T1NG MR C4PTOR?  
...no.  
TH3N H3R HONOR C4NNOT 4CC3PT 1T 4S 3V1D3NC3! SH3 M4Y 3V3N N33D TO DR4G TH3 4CCUS3D 1NTO TH3 SP3C14L 1NT3RROG4T1ON ROOM FOR FURTH3R QUEST1ON1NG L4T3R TON1GHT, 1F H3 C4NT K33P H1S STUP1D MOUTH SHUT 4ND L1ST3N

**> Be Mister Banana Slug.**

Sometimes you wonder if the knife-sharp laugh and ensuing mockery she's always ready to dole out after you try to fix your shitty tin can sink, and if the late night mandatory showings of that one episode of Trollcops: LA are the true trappings of genus: ship, species: matesprit. Maybe behind all those weird origami angles of her skull there's a hate for you as black as the irradiated sludge the morning lounge workers serve under the guise of 'coffee,’ but even still, you have a nauseating feeling, deeper than all the doubt and the guilt and the guilt about the doubt and the pusleaking digestive ulcers from drinking all that 'coffee,' that no matter what you call your relationship, you'd follow her anywhere. This, unfortunately, includes a red-eye flight to the capital of hell. 

She wakes you up at midnight-- _midnight_ , you managed to crash into bed so fucking early and she ruined it--to lean pompously over you, hands on her hips, elbows and waist at ninety-degree angles, glasses gleaming and smelling of your aftershave. (The aftershave she got you that you don't use. How gross of you.) She announces in a blaring voice that slaps down on your face and diffuses in dizzy greens and purples like a receding headrush: 

W3 4R3 GO1NG TO TH3 41RPORT!

(She already packed your bag. How little you mind should be upsetting; you elect to half-sleep with your horns rattling against the car window rather than think about it. You have a dream where she takes you to Canada and forgot to pack your I'm The Guy Who Sucks (Plus I Got Depression) shirt.) 

(You don't have a shirt like that. Dear god please don't let her take you to Canada.) 

She taps her foot like a child playing parent when you refuse to check your bag. 

1TS NOT GO1NG TO G3T LOST!  
holy 2hiit tz why are you tryiing two talk me iintwo 2pendiing an extra thiirty buck2 on thii2.  
1 DONT W4NT TO L1ST3N TO THE WH33LS SQU34K1NG 4ND YOU WH1N1NG 4BOUT HOW OFT3N 1T FL1PS 1TS3LF OV3R!  
TH4T B4G 1S 4 M3N4C3 >:[  
maybe ii would be more tru2tiing iif we diidnt have two connectiion2, FUCK.  
that ii2 ju2t a fuckiing reciipe for oop2 two bad we mii2read the label and 2ent all your 2hiit two hawaii, how do you liike beiing 2tranded in boulder CO wiithout a replacement for the 2hiirt a wiild fuckiing toddler off iit2 lea2h ju2t puked on.  
BUT W3 4R3NT GO1NG TO COLOR4DO!  
alriight 2tranded iin TX then.  
my poiint ii2 ii am not checkiing thii2 bag.  
BL4444444444R  
F1N3 TH3N M1ST3R R41N3D-ON COTTON C4NDY!  
JUST DONT TRY TO T4LK TO M3 4BOUT HOW 3MB4RR4S1NG 1T 1S TO D1G YOUR L4PTOP OUT FOR S3CUR1TY >:P

Security is a disaster. TZ dances through in her periwinkle trouser socks and flashes a bright-eyed smile at an old woman who compliments her glasses, all bouncing hair and quick, flexible wrists as she puts her earrings back on: in neon green shorts at thirteen sweeps, she is too put-together for this office-carpet swirling palm trees polished-pebbles fucking airport and _you_ , wrenching your shoes off and grunting _go ahead, go ahead_ so you can wrangle your fucking laptop out of the absolute bottom of your suitcase. Balled-up mismatched socks come bouncing out, sweat prickles in your armpits like needles, and you grit your teeth so hard your jaw still feels quivery and swollen when you collapse into the shitty metal-and-vinyl seats at your gate. 

There aren't many people waiting. No one is coughing; there are no children. Two rows over a guy in a suit, maybe nineteen sweeps, has horns like a pleadingly diplomatic version of AA's symbol, a wobbling discontented mouthflap; he pretends to read a Jhonen Grisam paperback and picks his nose. You rub your boarding pass between your thumb and forefinger until it feels violating and jolt when TZ crunches into an apple. 

She offers it to you with a quirked eyebrow and one cheek ballooned out. Your eyebrows go wobbling upward like an arrow pointing to your impressive collection of forehead wrinkles; hers draw together and down, mouth drooping like your prickling eyes. You end the conversation by resting your forehead on your knees. They call your boarding group twelve seconds later. Time to spend two hours with your knees on the ceiling and TZ snickering at SkyMall. If they offer you pretzels you'll scream. 

Terezi, in her effortless grace, manages to put the same sentiment even more delicately than you had:

NOBODY L1K3S PR3TZ3LS, 1V3 S33N SURV3YS DON3 ON TH3 SUBJ3CT!  
TH3Y T4ST3 4 K1ND OF B31G3Y NOTH1NG TH4T 4 M1ST3R SNYD3R TR13D 4ND F41L3D TO M4SK W1TH S4LT, 4ND TURN TH3 CL1M4T3 OF YOUR MOUTH FROM O4S1S 1NTO D3S3RT >:[  
THE 41RCR4FT DRON3S GO THROUGH 4LL TH1S TROUBL3 TO R3HYDR4T3 US 4ND TH3N UNDO 1T 1N ON3 F3LL SWOOP!  
1TS L1K3 TH3 CRUNCHY DRYMOUTH S1NGUL4R1TY, SOLLUX! HOW DO TH3Y NOT KNOW NOT TO DO TH4T???

You get off the plane and between gulps of water, Terezi informs you that this is one of New York's three airports. Her eyes glimmer between half-closed eyelids and her lips are a wobbling V. 

Later, as she marches through terminal A like it's a personal offense that it decided to put gate thirty-three on the opposite end from her-- and as you trail behind and try to stretch the hollow sticky Poligrip feeling out of your neck-- she explains that this is funny because Newark is actually in New Jersey. 

N3W YORK3RS H4T3 N3W J3RS3Y, 4ND V1C3 V3RS4  
4SK 4NY N3W YORK3R 4ND TH3YLL T3LL YOU TH4T "JOIZ33" 1S JUST J34LOUS!  
BUT 1F YOU 4SK 4NY N3W J3RS... N3W J3RS3Y-1T3, TH3N  
4CTU4LLY 1 DONT KNOW WH4T TH3YLL T3LL YOU  
C4US3 YOU S33, TH3 TV DO3SNT TH1NK TH4T P4RT 1S N34RLY 4S FUNNY >:O   
2o iif you're 2o tiickled by thii2 place then why can't we ju2t 2top here?

She stops in her tracks and spins on her heels to face you, with an expression like you've just killed her lusus. Her hair sways and clings to her nose. 

TH1S 1S N3W YORK, SOLLUX  
N3W YORK 1S FOR GL4SSY-3Y3D L1TTL3 BOYS 4ND G1RLS DR34M1NG OF M4K1NG 1T B1G  
FOR TR3MBLY OV3RP3RFUM3D T33N4G3RS W1TH TH31R BR4C3S S3T 4-CH4TT3R OV3R TH3 PROSP3CT OF S331NG 4 MOV13 ST4R  
4ND 1V3 4LR34DY B33N THERE!  
SOLLUX W3 4R3 NOT GO1NG TO N3W YORK!!  
W3 4R3 GO1NG ON 4N 4DV3NTUR3!

These are the words that haunt you in the wake of her clacking heels, in the line for your second of three flights, all the way through Dallas, Texas and onto the west coast. 

While Terezi puts on her best frown and begins to sift through baggage claim, you dart your crusty eyes in search of a Starbucks, and your efforts are quickly rewarded. You poke her in each shoulder and nod in the direction of your caffeinated salvation, and you've never been sure how she smells what you mean but she nods and wishes you good luck with a sweep of her hand. 

Your suitcase sputters and groans and clatters itself backwards no less than three times on your journey toward Starbucks, and you still make it there faster than you've ever made it anywhere in your life. 

There is a monstrously long line and you deal with this the only way you know how, which is by twitching and snarling and wringing your hands, but the bright side is that by the time you've received your venti quadruple espresso she is bouncing on her heels with her hands behind her back and her suitcase obediently at her side. 

TH4NKS, YOU SHOULDNT H4V3!

She snatches your knight in shining recycled cardboard right from your hand and takes a swig before you can stop her. Her eyes go as big and as glistening as the buttons on MIckey's shorts, and teal bubbles spring to the corners of them before she's even put the cup down. She coughs-- hacking and accusatory somehow-- and hands it back to you, tongue lolling like she's trying to shake the taste out of it. 

TH1S 1S TH3 SH1TT13ST R4SPB3RRY MOCH4 TH3 WORLD H4S 3V3R KNOWN!  
becau2e iit2 a quadruple e2pre22o.  
WH4T DO YOU N33D TWO COFF33S FOR, DONK3YCOCK??

A glance down at each of your hands reveals that you do, in fact, have two coffees. One, the venti, is warm enough it itches and burns in your left hand; the other is only a grande, and half-empty at that. When did you buy the latter one? 

WH4T 4R3 YOU, TRY1NG TO S4MPL3 TH3 D1FF3R3NC3 B3TW33N ST4RBUCKS H3R3 4ND ST4RBUCKS B4CK 4T HOM3?  
1 H4V3 TO S4Y 1T W4S 4 L1TTL3 OUT OF CH4R4CT3R P1CK1NG TH3 LOC4L JO1NT TH4T SM3LLS L1K3 YOU 4FT3R YOUV3 4LR34DY *H4D* TOO MUCH COFF33 BUT TH3 CH4NC3 TH4T YOU C4N F1X TH4T NONS3NS3 BY 4DD1NG 3V3N *MOR3* COFF33 TO YOUR SYST3M 1 H4V3 TO S4Y 1S N3XT TO--  
je2u2 blubbertiit2 youre riight, thii2 local 2hiit ta2te2 liike DEATH--  
Z3RO! Z3RO, M1ST3R ST1CKY SUP3RST4R ON 4 ST1CK! 4LL TH3 LOG1C 1N THR33 UN1V3RS3S PO1NTS TO TH1RTY S1X OUNC3S OF COFF33 JUST B3FOR3 G3TT1NG ON 4 TR41N B31NG 4 V3RY B4D PL4N!  
...traiin?  
Y34H!  
SO L3TS G3T GO1NG 4LR34DY, D4V3S W41T1NG OUTS1D3!  
H3S GO1NG TO T4K3 US TO TH3 ST4T1ON >:] 

Dave Strider, self-proclaimed "urban lowbrow surrealist pop-art-er extraordinaire" and "main homeboy of Miss TZ" who you have scarcely heard of, greets you outside with late-morning sun backlighting his stringy boy band hair and too-big Hawaiian shirt, hairy arms flung wide: 

welcome to sacramento, dudes  
today you can call me ranger dave and together we will go on a magical nature adventure to the motherfuckin mountains  
you may be asking yourself "but dave, i thought we were gonna get our sick neon party on????"  
and to that i say shoosh, baby, shoosh

He actually puts a finger to his lips, caterpillar eyebrows popping up just above his bug-eyed shades. 

im only certified to bust sick burns on whats visible out the window of the wild west party train  
and then were gonna pwn the cock off vegases moody baby kismesister  
renos economy basically runs on jealousy see  
so the second we roll on up theyre gonna be like  
hoshit  
its dave and tz and sollux  
heres the key to the city just dont take too many bitches back to cali with you  
we cant afford to lose em  
and well be like

(By now you've already piled into a cab. He twists around in the passenger seat and tips his shades down like he's on an eighties movie poster, revealing watery red eyes and puffy bags beneath them.) 

no promises man  
the bitches love us aint that right tz

She laughs. Your stomach does a quadruple flip from the secondhand embarrassment. 

** > Be Dave.**

Oh hell no. I don't think you've got what it takes to riff like this with a hardcore hangover wailing on the inside of your genius skull. Just chill out. Ranger Dave's got this. 

**> Be Terezi.**

  
[ ](http://imgur.com/DQIBx)   


tz how the exact fuck ii2 RENO goiing two be an adventure.  
HOW *1SNT* 1T 4N 4DV3NTUR3??  
1T C4LLS 1TS3LF TH3 B1GG3ST L1TTL3 C1TY 1N TH3 WORLD  
WH1CH 1S 4DOR4BL3!  
1T 1S TH3 TOONTOWN OF G4MBL1NG C1T13S  
dude sollux have you ever been to chuck e cheese  
no.  
well its like chuck e cheese if chuck e cheese was a whole city that also had mexican restaurants and vegans  
and cared a lot about the gold rush and native americans and shit  
fa2ciinatiing.  
i know right its hilarious  
and kind of depressing but the casinos are better than the ones in california  
HOW SO  
not as many soccer moms giving you weird looks plus the casinos there have themes  
liike what.  
gold rush, leprechauns, retro-space age, tropical, i dunno  
some are more geared toward humans or trolls  
the one were staying at is like a fuckin royal spaceship troll kinda thing  
ROY4L SP4C3SH1P  
YOU M34N TH3 B4TTL3SH1P COND3SC3NS1ON >:?   
probably yeah  
its pink and gold and kinda stabby  
probably the nicest one in town so youre in luck  
iif iit2 a hiighblood kiind of place then ii am goiing 2traiight home.  
SOLLUX 1S B31NG M3LODR4M4T1C 4S USU4L BUT 1 4CTU4LLY K1ND OF 4GR33  
SNOOTY 1SNT R34LLY WH4T 1 H4D 1N M1ND! >:\   
ladies ladies calm down  
did you already forget about my totally genius chuck e cheese metaphor  
by nice i dont mean classy  
i mean theyve got the most games and the biggest buffet and the place is so sparkly its gotta be ironic  
OH!  
TH4T SOUNDS P3RF3CT >:]  
that 2ound2 liike iim goiing two go take a 2hiit.

Reno's train station is positively glittery in vanilla, and just in case that isn't enough for you it makes sure to glow in pistachio or butterscotch depending on the nearest window. You have been trapped in metal tubes, always in steel and musty blueberry, for too many hours to count, and in its juxtaposition, this spacious golden castle is like a present from the casino gods. Once outside, the dried pineapple and blue meringue that greet your face tell you that Reno is as sunny as your home. This is alright, you knew it was coming. Adventure or no, living in a paradise of sun and palm trees has left you jaded to the notion of gray-- even of the gray that makes reds and greens and yellows fluorescent, which is what Dave reassures you winter in California is dominated by. 

Your cab is green and white, the driver a sun-stained white man with hair the same color as his face. This is your first desert, and it is a mockery of what every children's book will tell you about deserts. Still, even the gray gray streets look sunbaked into contentment; the buildings may be gray in nature but they glow in sallow yellows. They smell old and wise and haunted alongside casinos that bounce in flashy neons, thirsty blue and rich red-brown. Even these last are still permeated by concrete, snaking pillars and winding sidewalks of it-- white and gray and brown and yellow, callbacks to the fantasies of ancient times and a foundation for every tarp-littered ethnic restaurant perfectly linked. 

The boys will have none of it, of course. One after another they've gone groggy and damp and nonsensical in the wake of their precious chemicals. The highlights of Sollux's face match those of the buildings around you, and he is only sweaty in the space beneath his nose. 

B3TT3R ST4Y W1TH US, D4V3! 1F W3 M1SS OUR STOP TH1SLL B3 4 WHOL3 N3W K1ND OF 4DV3NTUR3!  
4ND W1TH 4LL DU3 R3SP3CT 1 TH1NK SOLLUX 1S 4 L1TTL3 M3LTY FOR TH4T R1GHT NOW >:[ 

He does as he's told, and when you reach what he's picked out you beam. The Atlantis looks like it tried to conceal its excitement in ordinary beige concrete but there was just too much-- even from the outside it's awash in blue and pink with nautical accents. Only the best, you suppose, on loan from Her Imperious Condeblahblah. The registration desk is sprawled out upon your entry like a winning hand in poker, and leaning against a pillar to its opposite a collection of water jugs-- lemon water and apple water, nothing less-- let you know you're free to make yourself at home. Sollux collapses in a chair and elects to stare at the ceiling, and in a place like this you can't even blame him. The hemospectrum dances against the black reflective panels unnamed yards above you, all peons to the gold and pink lady who wishes you well in this palace of deceit. It should be eerie and you know he thinks it is but, maybe because the caste system has been so kind to those of your blood and maybe because it is making you hungry, you find yourself charmed instead. 

  


[ ](http://i47.tinypic.com/2ld7wn8.jpg)

  


In the elevator up to your rooms a couple of human kids are riding with you, giving each other awed grins at how quickly you rocket up eight floors. They scowl when you get out, obviously wanting to bounce up and down in the smoky glass tube and get dizzy on the sway of approaching and receding fake palm trees; in retaliation Dave slaps about six buttons on his way out and chuckles. 

Your rooms are pretty nice! Starved for attention as he is, Dave had the courtesy to get his own room next door. The furniture is all a glossy licorice black and the carpet a tangy dried-raspberry. The standard boring framed artwork is of a made-up planet, all swaying green ocean and violetblooded families relaxing on a pink-sand beach. The bed is huge and relatively plush and the silly polyester comforter is the same shade as the carpet, with streaks of pale pink and oil black twisting and curling over it. Sollux drops his suitcase in the dead center of the room and creaks on down into the sparkly black armchair. 

W3 M4D3 1T!

He forces a half-smile. The tiredness is rolling off him in big sticky waves; you plop yourself in his lap and lick the spot on his neck that is very ticklish. He jolts and gives an accusatory appleberry glare, but you can smell the tilt of his big dorky eyebrows and it is definitely affectionate. Score! 

SOLLUX 1 4M GO1NG TO L3T YOU 1N ON 4 L1TTL3 S3CR3T  
ooh boy.  
ii2 iit my biirthday.  
SOLLUX TH4T 1S 4 R34LLY DUMB JOK3  
that2 the joke.

You bump his nose with your nose. Your pairs of silly-colored eyes are meeting very seriously. The bags under his eyes are intense enough that his whole face smells like wildberry champagne. It is so pathetic and delicious you feel kind of drunk already. 

1 DONT KNOW HOW TO G4MBL3 4T 4LL!  
TH4T 1S TH3 4DV3NTUR3 H3R3  
SOLLUX W3 H4V3 B33N TOG3TH3R FOR 4 V3RY LONG T1M3 4ND TH3R3FOR3 1 KNOW 4LL TH3 TH1NGS YOU L1K3  
1 KNOW YOUR F4VOR1T3 TH1NG 1N TH3 WORLD B3S1D3S M3 1S B31NG GOOD 4T TH1NGS W1THOUT R34LLY TRY1NG  
4ND G4MBL1NG 1S 4LL 4BOUT PR3D1CT1NG SH1T WH1CH 1 4M TH3 M4ST3R OF  
4ND M4CH1N3S, ON3 OF WH1CH YOU B4S1C4LLY 4R3 >:P  
4ND 4LSO 1 GU3SS D1C3 WH1CH 4R3 V3RY S1LLY 4ND 1 4M SURPR1S3D TH4T 4 TROLL C4S1NO WOULD NOT 4CCOUNT FOR PS1ON1C M3DDL1NGS  
TH3R3 1S NO W4Y TH1S PL4C3 TRUSTS TROLLS NOT TO US3 TH31R POW3RS SO 1 SUBM1T FOR YOUR CONS1D3R4T1ON TH3 1D34 TH4T 31TH3R TH3R3 4R3 COUNT3RM34SUR3S S3CR3TLY 1N PL4C3 WH1CH WOULD M4K3 TH3 G4M3S 3NT1R3LY UP TO CH4NC3  
OR!!!!!  
or.  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR  
1T 1S B31NG 1MPL13D TH4T W3 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO US3 OUR BR41N POW3RS 4ND TH3R3 1S NO W4Y W3 4R3NT B3TT3R AT OUR POW3RS TH4N 4LL TH3S3 CHUMPS >:]   
2o you want two cheat?  
NO 1 W4NT TO W1N 4ND TH3N P41L YOU ON 4 P1L3 OF OUR W1NN1NGS  
WH4T 3LS3 4R3 V4C4T1ONS FOR

Sollux cheers up significantly later that evening. At blackjack you raked in a fuckload of little plastic primary-colors discs that are apparently the stand-in for delicious piles of cash; they told you how much each color was worth but you couldn't hear because Sollux was whispering in your ear pointing out an old guy at the nearest video poker machine with brittle horns and Justin Bieber hair. Snickering like wigglers, you give your box of cherry-lime-blueberry discs to Dave for safekeeping ( _thanks in advance for all the chicks this'll net me_ , he says very seriously). You leave him to keep losing at the Star Trek-themed slot machines and head over to a craps table. 

crap2.  
CR4PS!  
craaaaap2.  
H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4 

You are drunk on winnings, and also drinking. Craps does not make sense, but Sollux leans his prickly elbows on the cushy table edge and hisses numbers at the lumpy oliveblood dealer-stooge when his turn comes around. The spinny thing with its little vanilla jawbreaker whirrs hilariously and the slices blur into red licorice, there's some kind of thing with dice, and you are sure everyone is just assuming the zappy little sparks coming from Sollux's eyes are just because he is drunk. You two are _geniuses._ You are the best. This is the best idea you have ever had. This dorky adorable pizza party town is going to make you rich! 

guys weve got a problem

Dave appears out of nowhere, kind of sweaty and still wearing his shades. 

havent you ever seen a movie about casinos and card counting and shit  
fireworks aint allowed in here guys we gotta get out  
WH4T 4BOUT MY SW33T W1NN1NGS?  
1 E4RN3D THOS3 FRU1TY MON3YSN4CKS F41R 4ND SQU4R3! 1TS NOT MY F4ULT W3R3 SO SM4RT  
R1GHT SOLLUX??

You turn around; a big burly guy has his hand on Sollux's shoulder. His horns curve down over his forehead like angry eyebrows layered over his actual big fat angry eyebrows. 

ii gue22 you got your wii2h for an adventure after all.  
SH1T!  



End file.
